The Boiling Point!!!!!

Where do we draw the line?  At what point do we risk looking like "those parents" who out right blame the school system, or do we just become "those other parents"  that let the system in place run over our children and our authority as parent`s.   Yup its another rant.  But right now I am boiling!! Fed up by all the school system B.S. and their "power" trip ability to say to a parent whatever they feel like saying without any repercussions.  I however will not be the parent that gets run over.  I am done sitting down and trying to play nice.
I can already hear the anger in some of my readers.  "Well if the parents were more involved...."  Or "If you as a parent would help...."    Trust me on this when I tell you I have been desperate to make my kids work for school.  I say that in that order because truthfully that is the relationship that should be imposed on children and the school system.  Their teachers are there to help the kids not force them to learn.  Children that go to school need to learn responsibility for their actions and produce a positive result.  My kids do not get special treatment for misbehavior.  Quite the opposite.  We work harder.  To be frank I am getting quite the "secretary butt" for sitting so long doing homework with my kids after school. 
Todays blog, as much as I'd like to get into that side of things, isn't actually on homework or whose fault it is that the kid got an "F" on his/her test.  Todays blog is on school policies and sick kids. 
I literally felt the eye roll of about half of my readers; however if you have kids then we really need to be on the same page about this.  If this hasn't effected you just yet it will that I can promise you.  Viruses are no respecter of persons and it definitely doesn't care if you give your beautiful child wheat grass and mixed fruit smoothies along with a probiotic for breakfast.  Please note, I do not mean any disrespect to your choice of food I am just laying a foundation of recognition that viruses are not 'picky eaters.'  So with that established here it goes:

It all starts in November. Just as the weather starts to turn cold you know that date.  Its usually about a week before Thanksgiving when the seasonal colds begin. If you're anything like me then you brace yourself  for an extended house arrest period and you run to the store literally clearing the shelves of  Ibuprophen and Tylenol as if you were experiencing an all out natural disaster. Knocking people to the side and grappling for the fever reducers in a "Black Friday" panic knowing that this item is literally the difference between a tyrannical sick child and a semi-coherent sick child.  If you have ever experienced the first type you know how important it is that you get this medicine. Sometimes you are lucky enough to get there before any other kids parents realize that this viral attack is an all out war and one they need to be prepared for.  If you're not so lucky then you stand there mouth wide open wondering how in the heck ALL of the childrens medicines could be gone so quickly.  You were just in here 2 days ago. 
With your dump truck of fever reducer loaded down you make it home.  For some reason this always happens at about 2 a.m., not sure why this happens, But I can honestly say I have envisioned the actual virus laughing as it says "watch what happens to the parents at the sound of this one puking, Mom, there is going to trip over that car and smash her face into the door frame in her attempt to reach him before he throws up on his bed."  You've seen it too haven't you?  With your alarm set for every 4 hours to divvy out the required dosage to each child you realize that this is only child #1 with this illness. For me, I  begin quickly doing the math to figure out 6 kids *3-5days of fever +2-5 more days each of coughing... = .....oh hell it feels like freaking forever! All of this not sleeping and constantly feeling foreheads makes you worried that you're next on the viral hit list and you suddenly feel the compelling force of OCD ticking in as you rush to the bathroom so you can wash your hands till they bleed.
I don't know about you but November started off the same way it always has and I was prepared.  Or so I thought.  November turned into December turning into January, February, NOW it's MARCH and I am realizing my dump truck load of meds is now depleted.  How could this happen?  Why weren't they getting better.  I took a look back and realized that my kids had been getting sick one at a time each week for the last 4 1/2 months. The week would start of with a small cough then they would run fevers, I'd take them to the clinic to check out their ears and make sure that they didn't have strep, go home with the causal dismiss of "it's a virus, good luck.  Lots of fluids and rest." Then the circle of madness would start all over again.  Infecting each kid in turn only to have a new virus trying to break down the strongholds of my children's immune systems.  Inevitably I'd keep them home from school because this was what the school has asked of us.  Of course I would do that anyway. I try to see things from others points of view including my children's.  If I know what it feels like to be sick and how hard it is to focus then why would I send my kids to school knowing how awful they feel.  Not only that but other kids in their class should be protected from this illness and allowed a chance to stay healthy. 

So here is where this gets interesting. 4 1/2  months divided by 6 kids minus weekends etc.  has equaled to a LOT of missed days per student; which happens to be 5 of them.  I have contacted the schools repeatedly letting them know that my ill child will not be there and I am convinced that they know my voice by now.  Every time I have called, up until this point, I have heard sympathetic responses.  "this season has been awful..."  "we've had so many students out..." etc.  However last week I received an interesting email from my daughters teachers letting me know of my responsibilities as a parent to make sure my kid was in school so she didn't get behind.   I understand this.  I have been trying to get them there.  But for some odd reason they keep getting sick.  I begin to think about it and remember hearing stories from my kids about how their friends were at school sick and how sad they felt for them.  WHAT!!!!??  Why are they there?  My mind becomes conflicted with all the emotions that come with trying to be a good parent.  I want my kid to learn, but I want to follow their policies; I want to make sure that they are improving and keeping up, but I don't want to get others sick.   I hate the fact that my brain settled upon placing blame but somewhere in my mind I realized that there has to be a balance and right now that balance between sick kids staying home to get well and parents who send their kids to school sick to appease the school system has been tipped dramatically.  So in response to this email I asked this teacher why other kids were being allowed to come to school sick and maybe the problem wasn't that I was keeping my kids home because they were sick but that other parents were bringing their kids to school while sick to appease the schools.  I also said that maybe she needed to address that situation. She didn't respond.  Of course she didn't respond.  Their only concern is to make sure that the kids grades reflect positively on "their school."  I took a look at the policies of the school and they ask us to keep the kids home if they are sick and are running a fever.  I had been complying!! Why is this the problem!?  I am the mom over here spending a small fortune on kids that need medicine because of these illnesses, taking them to the doctor, getting homework and completing it in a timely manner all the while trying to keep the school policies.  I am over here doing what they ask while other parents are bringing their kids to school sick against what the school wishes and re-infecting my kids over and over.  I pulled myself together and decided not to say any more but to continue the fight and make my kids go to school even when they weren't quite 100% despite their "rule" in the hopes that we could get to summer without much more trouble.  However my daughter who was still struggling with an illness was told at school that she wasn't allowed to go to the restroom and she messed her pants.  She was so distraught that she didn't ever want to go to school again.  I made her go to school and face her fears.  2 days later another teacher told her that if she didn't quit missing school they would kick her out because of all of her absences.  Again she came home crying.  By this time I am angry, to say the least. If you have a problem with a child missing school...contact the parents DO NOT belittle my child because of something she has NO CONTROL OVER.  Upon hearing this I waited till the next day so that my daughter wasn't around when I called the principal.  I told him of this situation and he immediately blamed my daughter.  He didn't even wait to hear the full story.  He just decided that my daughter was the one who had made up this ridiculous story.  I wasn't going to allow him this satisfaction so I politely interjected the fact that my daughter was 8 and not likely to conjure up the idea in her mind that the school would kick her out for her absences.  He realized the validity of my point and changed tactics.  "Well this is how we do things here."  My now new thoughts went something like this.....What the hell?!  You belittle children there at your school!? What kind of monsters do you have teaching students who feel it is okay to dissuade and crush the hearts of those that they should be lifting.?!!!!  As I am trying to digest his comment what came next just floored me.  "You know some kids just are meant for our school....you know.  Some just can't handle it here."  I can't decide now whether I just hang up on this man for his rude and uncalled for comment or do I drive over to the school and make a public scene.  All I wanted for him to do was to address the teacher and tell her to let me know when there is a problem and not involve my child who doesn't need to worry about the adult world just yet. However he took this problem and escalated it to a degree in which I now label the boiling point! 
This does sound a bit like a child throwing a tantrum but come on, I called to take care of an issue of miscommunication about my daughter being sick and her school absences only to find that I am considered the enemy and am now the butt of the schools disapproval!?
What in the world am I supposed to think now?!   I
I truly want them to be at school.  I want them to learn all of the incredible things that teachers have to offer them.  I want them to have social skills that will aid them as they grow older. However now its not only the virus that I am fighting but the school system as well.  How do I win?  How do I make sure that my children are seen as worth the schools time and still keep them healthy as they go?   
I honestly do not know the answers to this at this point but one thing I do know is that...

I will be setting up an appointment with the principal very soon so that My husband and I  can present him with ALL of the doctors notes and his own policy on paper and ask him what he would do in my situation.  I will take this to a higher level if I have to.  No child should be treated this way and no parent should have to make the choice to either keep their sick kid home or infect another kid in order to appease the mass of school system bigots. 
On the flip side However the root of the problem remains the same.  PARENTS!!!:  please keep your own kids home when they are sick.  We are all trying to help our kids grow and learn.  WE ALL have the same agenda and plan for them.  But if they are sick and you send them to school sick then not only are you causing your child undo stress but you are putting others at risk.  We all want them to succeed but how and when did it ever become ok to base the success of our kids upon the failure of another.  When did it become ok to please another entity, such as the school system, at the expense of your own child's health and peace. 

Parents you have more power than you know.  If  as parents we would just be parents and stop allowing the "system" to make our decisions, then less of our children would become ill; thus enabling them to miss less school.  Collectively our children would learn more and fair better in future endeavors due to the amount of school they wouldn't miss.  Let's take back parenting and stop giving it away to systems that are only concerned about numbers on a paper and a pay check.  Let's stop being afraid of raising our own children in a manner that benefits them rather than benefitting a corporation full of  Government stiffs that are there because of the amount of money per-child they get, based solely on the number of children in the school and in their seat. It is time, beyond time, to stop being afraid of the system and start being parents again.  So parents I urge you to PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, stop sending your beautiful child to school sick. Both your child and mine will thank you for helping them  to stay healthier and bettering their futures in the long run.  


Below is a link to another blog that addresses what is acceptable and not for a child to go to school.  It has an interview from a Children's hospital on the matter.
I found it helpful, you may or may not. Either way it is a good read.

http://www.neworleansmomsblog.com/2014/05/05/how-sick-is-too-sick-for-school-a-pediatricians-perspective/
Disclaimer for the blog site listed above.
Disclaimer: The information contained in this blog post is for networking and informational purposes only, and should not be used to replace the relationship that exists between you and your child’s healthcare provider. Please contact your healthcare provider for specific medical advice and/or treatment recommendations. The opinions expressed in this blog are the personal opinions of the author, not of Children’s Hospital or Children’s Hospital Medical Practice Corporation (CHMPC).