A Clear Edge.

Every school has tests,  tests that check their ineptness, tests to show their ability to learn to be "just like everyone else."  This test defines a child's future according to this worlds standards.  But what if the worlds standards are wrong? What if the way most children learn isn't the only way?  Children come into this world so small and at our mercy...but what if we took a moment and learned from them? What if our world combined all of the ways of learning and created a new world of love?

Here is a story of a young man who learned differently his whole life and yet his abilities to do things are very profound.  Here is a story of  Joshua Lind a young father who has struggled with these things his whole life and yet he finds the silver lining within it all. (see some of his drawings at the end of the story,they are Incredible!)

" Well, let's see, where do I begin?   I know every person has a story within them, I have many.  Many of my stories I keep secret to the point that even family members and close friends do not fully see until I reveal it to them.  It wasn't that I wanted to keep my secrets confidential, it was more like I wanted to understand my personal cryptic life more correctly first before I said anything to... well really, anyone. I knew I was different growing up, but not until adulthood did I learn why.  Here is one of them, I was never shy growing up.  Surprised? Yes it's silly I know. Most people would argue with me on that one who grew up with me in school.  To me, the definition of a shy person is a person afraid to talk to others. Someone that perhaps gets in a state of apprehension, uncertainty and fear resulting from anticipation in thinking  of talking to someone.  At least, that was the definition of what I thought shyness was and that was definitely not me.  So why was I considered shy growing up?

Here is another secret, I can't remember your name very well.  Yes everyone forgets names now and then from time to time, but is it to the point you can't remember a name of a person you known for 30 years? Not just with one person, but with every person. Luckily I can remember some family members and my wife's, but that's it.  Does this make any sense?  

Okay, last one and then I'll stop being so vague. In High school I have been told I am a smart person. Others would even cheat off my homework at school and get good grades, but did you know when I took my A.C.T. test. the most important test in school to take when wanting to get into collage, I scored just an 11 on it.  I have not met anyone lower yet when trying to score good, and I promise you I did my best to do good on that test and I had no test anxiety.

So, what is all this about then?  Well here's the truth,  I'm disabled.  Yup, I have been all my life.  I am a jumble of hidden things in one body.  I'm dyslexic, have Dysnomia, Low Latent Inhibition, and lean towards the Aspergers syndrome disorder.  Not to mention RLS, but that's another story.

So to the normal person, what does all this mean? Well most people think with mainly with words when talking to others.  With me, it's was different.  There was very little dialogue in my mind. I think with mainly pictures and concepts and virtually no verbal words in my mind at all. I'm a picture thinker.  It's my first language.  And when talking to others, there is  a time delay to translate pictures into words, and when I found the right words to say, the conversation would then be long gone and onto another subject.  Because of that, I didn't contribute much to talking to others. I got labeled as shy when in reality I was just a little two cylinder engine trying to keep up with a six cylinder type of average person.  

This related to my dyslexia because I see words in pictures form and my mind is good at spinning and moving those words in different prospective and points of view. This becomes fun when a person talks.  I had to go to speech therapy to learn to memorize common sayings to just keep a conversation going like, nice weather we are having, or that's awesome, or my favorite, you stumped me there, let me think for a sec.

 Dysnomia is a type of aphasia. It is when you may know what a person, place, or thing is, but your mind cannot recall the names of those things. You have the tip of the tongue experience all the time every time.  It's similar to those in nursing homes that start losing their minds of names of things, but luckily I don't have to go through that because I have already been born to think that way. I have this problem because of Low Latent Inhibition. 

 Low Latent Inhibition is better understood when you understand Latent Inhibition.  Everyone has it. It is when you go to a door, for example, for the very first time.  You look at it and notice the details of what you see.  There is scuff marks on the handle that is made out of brass, crackly paint on the door, and smudge marks from others from the past kicking the door with their shoes.  But, after awhile, you go to the one door, you gone to them all.  Your brain adapts, you see less details.  You know what they're used for and open them and shut them and go on your way.  You notice less details, because you brain treats it as old stimuli so it doesn't get bombarded all the time with all the information around you. This is normal.  It's healthy. If you didn't have this happen, you would go crazy with all the mass of information going into your mind.  A person with Low Latent Inhibition is a person that has a low ability to stop old information to be treated as new.  For example you go to a door that you been to many times and you notice the details all the time as if it was new.... every..... single .....time.... Okay, I got to let out some frustration and use my adopted swear word.  Ready, cover your ears, "Curse words....."  There, I'm better now.   Anyway, You can't shut it off, it just doesn't work that way.  You don't have the ability to stop all this incoming information. Your body starts developing disabilities like autism, Aspergers, or other similar disabilities if you can't handle it.   This is where my Dysnomia came in to play.  My brain threw out names of things as useless information so it could handle all the incoming details around me. Trust me, it's involuntary, or rather, I can't control it, it just happens.

So why do I share all this, It's a little detailed and scientific to explain but to explain it in any other way would not be possible. I share this so that you can have a perspective of my secret.  

It's a blessing.  Compassion for others has been the fruit of this experience... I learned that I am not dumb, or less intelligent. I am just wired different.  It's only a disadvantage in a world that works opposite in the way I work.  In fact, given the right situation provided, I do good in schooling and test and have even been on the dean's list.  But at the same time and in the same measurement of time when achieving this awesome goodness, I also performed the worst and still do. It will be something I will live with the rest of my life.  But I know God lives and is good to us all.  I would love to share more, but to understand my true story, I had to share this secret first.  I'll only be able to share my story of blessings in life if only you have an understanding of my little hiccups of this mortal body.  If I am able, I will share them latter, but as you can imagine.  writing this took just over 3 hours and I'm tired of writing for now.  but until then, stay tuned."

What an incredible life.. and what an amazing way to look at your challenges.  Thank you for inspiring me to be more positive and looking at things in a better light. Josh you are an incredible example to all.  Thank you again.

 

John from the New Testament on the left.
And an old man on the right that has a hidden meaning.  Cover up half of his face to the left and right and see his expression change.  (Both drawn by Joshua Lind)





*Please send me your edge of the miracle story to (edgeofthemiracle@outlook.com). I will preview it and then keep in close contact with you before featuring it in an upcoming blog.  There are people out there that need your strength.  They need the kind of peace only your story can bring.  Even if you don't feel like it is worth a feature, just know that someone out there somewhere is needing to hear how you have overcome and the lessons that you have learned.  You may save their life or quite possibly save many lives. We need your story.

Edge Of The Barrel..

The commercials always portray the mind and heart of a soldier as super human.  With the strength and will beyond what is comprehensible to the normal person.  These soldiers put their very lives on the line so that we can have the freedoms we enjoy; their hopes and desires hidden to their own view for the duration of their duty all for the sake of mankind. My question to you is; Who saves them when the pain of war and the longing to be home with their family becomes too much to bear? When the noises of bombs and reality of being close to death daily are more than the mind can take; Who steps in for them?

This is the story of a man who had already endured time in war when he found himself in a very real situation of life or death; but did he really want life?

”I served in the army for 11 years before finally getting out with a medical retirement due to injuries I sustained while in deployed in Iraq from 2006 to 2007. For the most part I have gotten along with just about everyone I have ever served with, except for my squad leader I had while deployed. This guy disliked me from the moment he met me, and he treated his entire squad like crap. In front of the other squads he would yell at us, and call us all kinds of names for the dumbest reasons, all to make himself look like a big tough squad leader. We had other members of our platoon tell us how bad they felt that we had him as a squad leader. I wish I could say that I only had one or two bad experiences while I was deployed in Iraq but there were many. To keep this short I am going to write just this one. Like I said I had a squad leader that was a complete jerk to his entire squad, and he seemed to really dislike me. He gave me any extra duty he could find. He would try and get me into trouble for any tiny thing he could find wrong with what I did. So, there I was in a country clear across the world from my wife and two boys (Paul 2, and Ashton 5 months), getting put on any extra duty my squad leader could find, my best friend was moved from camp Cedar to Tallil Air force Base about 5 mile down the road, and we were getting mortared every couple of days because it was almost the Fourth of July. I had just gotten off work and I was very tired and feeling alone. I went to call my family that night but I couldn’t either the phones were down because of the mortars or something. So I went back to my bunk and sat there for a while thinking of how much I really hated it there. As I sat on my bunk in my room in a tiny 10ft by 15ft trailer I lived in, I kept thinking it would be so easy to end it all right now. I had a M16 and about 100 rounds right next to me. The longer I sat there the more appealing the idea seemed to me. Thinking about how alone I felt at that moment I actually loaded a bullet into the chamber of my gun, pulled the charging handle, and rested my head on the barrel. As I sat there thinking of how easy it would be to pull that trigger and end the emotional pain I was in I lifted my head and said, “Father in Heaven, if there is a reason I shouldn’t do this you better stop me now.” I then put the gun back to my head and reached for the trigger. As my finger curled around the cold metal and slowly began to squeeze I heard a knock at my door, and immediately I knew it wasn’t time. I sat there for a second trying to wipe the tears from my eyes, then I got up and answered my door. It was one of the guys from my squad wanting to know if I wanted to go to chow with him. As we walked to the chow hall he told me he had a real strong impression to go and check on me. He had even walked halfway to the chow hall before he came back and got me. I didn’t tell him what had happened before he knocked on my door that night until we were already home, but I did tell him I was having a hard time with everything going on. We did talk that night while we were at chow, and then we went back to where our rooms were where we met up with some other guys in my platoon and we all played video games and made fun of how my squad leader treated my squad. It helped me not feel so alone, and afterwards the guy who knocked on my door asked me if I was praying regularly. I told him I was praying but not every day. He invited me to come and pray with him and a couple other guys that prayed each day before they went to bed. It wasn’t at a set time because we worked 12 on 12 off and switched from day shift to night shift every few weeks. I told him I would when I could and for the most part when I wasn’t on a convoy or being detained by extra work I showed up. I found some really good music by Josh Groban that also really helped me feel better. It was a difficult time in my life, but I learned that even in my darkest times God is with me and hears me.”

Psalm 35

“1 Plead my cause, O Lord, with them that strive with me: fight against them that fight against me.

 2 Take hold of shield and buckler, and stand up for mine help.

 3 Draw out also the spear, and stop the way against them that persecute me: say unto my soul, I am thy salvation.

13 But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth: I humbled my soul with fasting; and my prayer returned into mine own bosom.

 14 I behaved myself as though he had been my friend or brother: I bowed down heavily, as one that mourneth for his mother.

 15 But in mine adversity they rejoiced, and gathered themselves together: yea, the abjects gathered themselves together against me, and I knew it not; they did tear me, and ceased not:

 16 With hypocritical mockers in feasts, they gnashed upon me with their teeth.

 17 Lord, how long wilt thou look on? rescue my soul from their destructions, my darling from the lions.

Let them shout for joy, and be glad, that favour my righteous cause: yea, let them say continually, Let the Lord be magnified, which hath pleasure in the prosperity of his servant.

 28 And my tongue shall speak of thy righteousness and of thy praise all the day long.”

In a time such as these when the world is so harsh as to drag down its own; it is an incredible thing to know that we have a Father in Heaven who cares enough to send aid to the very elite, to our super-humans.  Even the strong need someone who will stand for them and bring them peace.  What an incredible story of strength and love from our soldiers.  Thank you so very much for sharing your story.  I know that it will touch the hearts of many many individuals who have or are experiencing a very real war within themselves.  You are incredible for all you have done. Thank you again.

*Please send me your edge of the miracle story to (edgeofthemiracle@outlook.com). I will preview it and then keep in close contact with you before featuring it in an upcoming blog.  There are people out there that need your strength.  They need the kind of peace only your story can bring.  Even if you don't feel like it is worth a feature, just know that someone out there somewhere is needing to hear how you have overcome and the lessons that you have learned.  You may save their life or quite possibly save many lives. We need your story.