You are on the Edge of the Miracle looking back over the path that you have
trudged. It was slippery, steep, and hard to climb. It was fraught
with weeds and thorns and the worst kind of heart ache. You know that
there isn't anyway that you want to repeat that journey. But now at this
edge what should you do? You have fallen into habits that wish to drag
you back down that slope. You are here clinging on with all of your
might, but what should you do? Stay here and wait for the pain to subside
or take that leap of faith over the edge to a Father in Heaven who loves and
cares for you and will help remove the pain. You know that jumping to him
will take a lot of change and these changes will be extremely hard but you also
know that these changes will bring inexplicable joy if you stick with it.
You know you want joy, the kind that you once felt, the kind that lasts.
Not the kind that flees after the bottle is empty. So you decide to jump.
Here is a
story of a young father who did just that. He faced the edge and is conquering
the very heartache and demons that had over taken him. This is his EDGE
OF THE MIRACLE.
*
" I'm coming up on my 4 year anniversary of being single. Of all days, my
divorce was finalized on Friday, May 13, 2011. I no longer look at Friday
the 13th as a cursed day but a blessed one! When I discovered that my
"then" wife was seeing 3 men while going to counseling with me to try
and piece together what was left of an 11 year marriage, I was devastated.
How does one cope with such hurt? Well, my coping mechanism was rum
and a beer in the shower after a 12 hour shift. It felt much easier to be
numb than to feel the hurt of rejection and loss of someone I gave my heart to.
I then spiraled out of control. I was angry with life in general, I
took it out on the ladies I would date. They fell in love with me too
quickly so I would break their hearts before they had the chance to do it to me
first. Three years this went on. Their were 100's of women I dated,
no, I'm not proud of that number. I finally realized it was time to focus
on me and find my own internal happiness as well as eternal. I chose to no
longer live a double standard.
A year ago
January, I started the repentance process. What a struggle that was! To
sit in sacrament meeting and listen to the self righteous and judgmental people
gasp as I refused the sacrament was embarrassing. I had to tell my nephew
I couldn't escort him through the temple to receive his endowments for the
first time to prepare for his mission. Thankfully my Uncle was able to
step in and help. The women were all over me (no I'm not
bragging)! Booze was so much a temptation!
In my
family, I'm the only active member of the church so you can imagine
what I was faced with at every family function. Nothing like feeling like
the odd ball out and realizing I no longer had much in common with my family
anymore. So many family functions I had to fake an illness or some kind
of hardship to not attend for fear of persecution from my own siblings.
Throughout
the course of the year I stayed strong, true and faithful in all things.
I worked on being a positive person to everyone and made many friends.
Because of my choices to abstain from booze and loose women (sorry for
the derogatory term), I've been eternally blessed! I earned a promotion
at work. My relationship with my boys' mother has never been stronger
(Knock on wood). My relationship with my siblings (well most of them) is
amazing. I received the right to perform priesthood ordanance's on both
of my son's. In January and the first weekend of the month (March) I
ordained my older son a deacon, and baptized my other son in the church of our
faith.
Words
cannot describe how I felt/feel to be worthy of such blessings! I'm still
glowing! It is a great weight that has been lifted off of my shoulders.
I was doing the math last February when I was attending the temple.
It has taken me 6 years to get back to the temple. What a great and
peaceful feeling I felt when sitting in the Celestial room. To know that
this is the closest place to be to my heavenly father here on earth is such an
amazing blessing.
Yesterday
I received a phone call and learned that my mother passed away sometime
throughout the night (March 14th, 2015). Even though I was estranged to
her, my siblings conversed with her daily. My heart aches for them.
My siblings don't share the knowledge that I have of the plan of
salvation. I pray that their hearts will be comforted. I was
talking with my Uncle (mother's brother) on the phone last night. He
wanted to let me know how sorry he was and wished that we all had a better
relationship with my mother. He stated that my mother never knew the
impact it had on us when she chose to walk out on us, but I did. One
thing he pointed out to me and the owner of the funeral home, earlier that day,
was that I'm the only priesthood holder in the family. What an honor it
was to hear that!
I quickly
remembered a thought a friend shared with me from years past. He said
that when times start to get tougher, and temptations seem to get harder to
resist, means something is about to happen. Satan is working on you to
not be worthy of your priesthood. Unfortunately I had to learn these
things the hard way. We live in a changed world. It's not like it
was 10 years ago. The hastening of the Lord's work is happening. My
nephew, who is on his mission in Singapore right now, bore his testimony to me
on Christmas that we will be witness to the second coming of Christ.
There is so much corruption in this world today. Let's recognize
what we need to do to get our lives in order so that we will be able to return
to our loved ones after we cross that veil. I know the struggle I had to
endure with my divorce helped to strengthen other marriages. Because of
that they are still married, happy and vibrant! Some have even had
babies!
I know
there is a purpose for me here. I also know that I'm closer to fulfilling
it. I can just feel it! Whatever that purpose is the Lord will make
it known when it's time. I can't wait for the day he puts me on the path
to finally run into my own eternal companion. I guess I'm not quite
ready for that yet. Or perhaps I've been there and done that, to never do
again. Either way I'm content. I've found my own eternal happiness
here on earth. To share it with someone else would be great, no longer a
priority for me.
Going
through these trials left me feeling hopeless and devastated. But because
of my faith and strength I was able to rise above them. I'm a much
stronger person now. These trials we all have to endure are just a small
piece of the trials to come! Embrace them! The Lord is strengthening
us spiritually as well as physically to take on what we are about to go
through. Pray always, be humble, accept everyone.
Thank you
for your time,"
Sincerely,
Joshua
Madson
"The
possibilities are endless..."
*
*What an
amazing example of courage and faith. Thank you Josh for your inspiring words
and actions. They speak to the heart and bring a desire for strength and
peace in those that are longing to find that joy as well. What an
amazing example you are to your boys. Your boys will see all that you have over
come and know that with faith Miracles can happen. More boys need this
kind of strength from their fathers. Thank you, oh thank you again.
*
*Please
send me your edge of the miracle story to (edgeofthemiracle@gmail.com). I
will preview it and then keep in close contact with you before featuring it in
an upcoming blog. There are people out there that need your
strength. They need the kind of peace only your story can bring.
Even if you don't feel like it is worth a feature, just know that someone out
there somewhere is needing to hear how you have overcome and the lessons that
you have learned. You may save their life or quite possibly save many
lives. We need your story.
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