The commercials always portray the mind
and heart of a soldier as super human.
With the strength and will beyond what is comprehensible to the normal
person. These soldiers put their very
lives on the line so that we can have the freedoms we enjoy; their hopes and
desires hidden to their own view for the duration of their duty all for the
sake of mankind. My question to you is; Who saves them when the pain of war and
the longing to be home with their family becomes too much to bear? When the
noises of bombs and reality of being close to death daily are more than the
mind can take; Who steps in for them?
This
is the story of a man who had already endured time in war when he found himself
in a very real situation of life or death; but did he really want life?
”I
served in the army for 11 years before finally getting out with a medical
retirement due to injuries I sustained while in deployed in Iraq from 2006 to
2007. For the most part I have gotten along with just about everyone I have
ever served with, except for my squad leader I had while deployed. This guy
disliked me from the moment he met me, and he treated his entire squad like
crap. In front of the other squads he would yell at us, and call us all kinds
of names for the dumbest reasons, all to make himself look like a big tough
squad leader. We had other members of our platoon tell us how bad they felt
that we had him as a squad leader. I wish I could say that I only had one or
two bad experiences while I was deployed in Iraq but there were many. To keep
this short I am going to write just this one. Like I said I had a squad leader
that was a complete jerk to his entire squad, and he seemed to really dislike
me. He gave me any extra duty he could find. He would try and get me into
trouble for any tiny thing he could find wrong with what I did. So, there I was
in a country clear across the world from my wife and two boys (Paul 2, and
Ashton 5 months), getting put on any extra duty my squad leader could find, my
best friend was moved from camp Cedar to Tallil Air force Base about 5 mile
down the road, and we were getting mortared every couple of days because it was
almost the Fourth of July. I had just gotten off work and I was very tired and
feeling alone. I went to call my family that night but I couldn’t either the
phones were down because of the mortars or something. So I went back to my bunk
and sat there for a while thinking of how much I really hated it there. As I
sat on my bunk in my room in a tiny 10ft by 15ft trailer I lived in, I kept
thinking it would be so easy to end it all right now. I had a M16 and about 100
rounds right next to me. The longer I sat there the more appealing the idea
seemed to me. Thinking about how alone I felt at that moment I actually loaded
a bullet into the chamber of my gun, pulled the charging handle, and rested my
head on the barrel. As I sat there thinking of how easy it would be to pull
that trigger and end the emotional pain I was in I lifted my head and said,
“Father in Heaven, if there is a reason I shouldn’t do this you better stop me
now.” I then put the gun back to my head and reached for the trigger. As my
finger curled around the cold metal and slowly began to squeeze I heard a knock
at my door, and immediately I knew it wasn’t time. I sat there for a second
trying to wipe the tears from my eyes, then I got up and answered my door. It
was one of the guys from my squad wanting to know if I wanted to go to chow
with him. As we walked to the chow hall he told me he had a real strong
impression to go and check on me. He had even walked halfway to the chow hall
before he came back and got me. I didn’t tell him what had happened before he
knocked on my door that night until we were already home, but I did tell him I
was having a hard time with everything going on. We did talk that night while
we were at chow, and then we went back to where our rooms were where we met up
with some other guys in my platoon and we all played video games and made fun
of how my squad leader treated my squad. It helped me not feel so alone, and
afterwards the guy who knocked on my door asked me if I was praying regularly.
I told him I was praying but not every day. He invited me to come and pray with
him and a couple other guys that prayed each day before they went to bed. It
wasn’t at a set time because we worked 12 on 12 off and switched from day shift
to night shift every few weeks. I told him I would when I could and for the
most part when I wasn’t on a convoy or being detained by extra work I showed
up. I found some really good music by Josh Groban that also really helped me
feel better. It was a difficult time in my life, but I learned that even in my
darkest times God is with me and hears me.”
Psalm
35
“1 Plead my cause, O Lord, with
them that strive with me: fight against them that fight against me.
3 Draw out also the spear, and
stop the way against them that persecute me: say unto my soul, I am thy salvation.
13 But as for me, when they were
sick, my clothing was sackcloth: I humbled my soul with fasting; and my prayer
returned into mine own bosom.
14 I behaved myself as though he
had been my friend or brother: I bowed down heavily, as one that mourneth for
his mother.
15 But in mine adversity they
rejoiced, and gathered themselves together: yea, the abjects gathered
themselves together against me, and I knew it not; they did tear me, and ceased
not:
17 Lord, how long wilt thou look
on? rescue my soul from their destructions, my darling from the lions.
Let them shout for joy, and be glad,
that favour my righteous cause: yea, let them say continually, Let the Lord be
magnified, which hath pleasure in the prosperity of his servant.
In
a time such as these when the world is so harsh as to drag down its own; it is
an incredible thing to know that we have a Father in Heaven who cares enough to
send aid to the very elite, to our super-humans. Even the strong need someone who will stand
for them and bring them peace. What an
incredible story of strength and love from our soldiers. Thank you so very much for sharing your
story. I know that it will touch the hearts
of many many individuals who have or are experiencing a very real war within
themselves. You are incredible for all
you have done. Thank you again.
*Please send me your edge of the miracle story to (edgeofthemiracle@outlook.com). I will preview it and then keep in close contact with you before featuring it in an upcoming blog. There are people out there that need your strength. They need the kind of peace only your story can bring. Even if you don't feel like it is worth a feature, just know that someone out there somewhere is needing to hear how you have overcome and the lessons that you have learned. You may save their life or quite possibly save many lives. We need your story.
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