The Edge

 

              I close my eyes and quickly realize that this was a bad idea.  Why was I even up here?  What did I get myself into?  With my eyes closed the world feels like it is spinning and I feel totally off balance as I stand here at the top of a 30 foot drop in to a swimming pool.  Afraid isn't even the word that describes me at this moment.  No, I am petrified! Hands shaking, palms sweating, heart racing, PETRIFIED!!!  I take a step back and breathe for a moment and realize that I am even too scared to climb back down the steps that I came up.  I had made that journey already and I knew how slippery that slope really was. I thought about how with each hand over hand motion I had climbed up those cold wet steps.  Constantly agonizing over the possibility of falling back down each step and waking up broken and hurt or worse. If this wasn't bad enough I thought briefly about the wind and cold. Why was it always windy and cold when I went swimming? Weird!  On that note there was no way I was going back the way I came.  So that left the only alternative...JUMP. Jump into the seemly beautiful water below.  Jump into that crystal clear safety net that awaited.  I knew it was there.  I knew it would be okay because I could swim.  But why couldn't I jump? Why, when I could see the way out so clearly was it too difficult to make that leap? Have you ever felt this way? At the edge of a decision, a moment when you knew you had to make a choice, at the edge where the next choice you made would be life changing?

Life itself is set up this way. It is set up in a series of events where there is a calm, then a climb of imaginable proportions, then the edge.  The edge before we have to make that leap of faith. It is at this edge that we make the tough choices.  It is at the edge where our true character comes out and we become stronger or weaker according to our choice. The edge is where fear or faith takes over.  It is always tough, it is always hard, but from what I have seen thus far it has always been worth the jump.

It is weird for me to think that the jump is worth it because quite frankly I am terrified of heights.  I have always been. So to think of life as a 30 foot drop is somewhat bemusing. However WE all were put here to be tested.  To see what our true potential is.  I am sure that the lord doesn't intend for us to all become skilled skydivers. However he does want to see what we do with the knowledge we gain at the edge of our trial. That edge that he has led us to where we have to give up all of our preconceived notions.  The one that we are standing on knowing that there isn't any way that we will ever go back the way we came and the only options are to jump to him or to stand there waiting.

So while you are there at the edge what are you learning?  As the tears stream down your face and you hold on to your partners hand because you just found out that you or he or your child is ill, Where is your strength coming from?  As your knees buckle and you fall to the ground because you have a hard time going to work each day knowing the income still isn't enough but there isn't anything else you can do and your already more exhausted than you have ever been in your life, Who do you turn to? When you have climbed and climbed those stairs to that child's room who locks you out and shouts at you to go away, How do you keep on climbing? To you who is or has been fighting an addiction and trying desperately to keep balance after such a weary uphill fight, How have you made it this far? To all of you who are alive and experiencing a trial that feels so huge and real but your afraid to tell someone because you aren't sure if they will think it is as big as it feels to you, What keeps you moving forward?

This my dear friends is the Edge of the Miracle.  Everyone has been or is here trying to figure out what to do and it just might be your story that helps someone to take that leap of faith. The leap that will forever change their life for the better.  It is my hope that you will share with me your edge of the miracle moments. Please share with us your edge.  Come and share with me and all others the kinds of lessons you are learning so that as we climb we will know that we can jump even if we are scared.

This blog is for you!  All of you!  We all are on the edge at one time or another and we all have experiences that could help someone else. So please help us to jump by commenting to me or sending me an email and allowing us to know how you have been so strong.

(Please email me your stories to edgeofthemiracle@outlook.com. I will read them and then Post it with your permission for the next blogs uplift. Leave me your email so that I may be able to correspond with you about the blog before I post it. Also if you want to leave a comment that is fine too)  Love you all!  By Gina Marley